Remember trips to go see grandparents and relatives? Near or far, time was made to visit. It was understood family ties were important. Only distance and hardship kept family apart while every effort to nurture those relationships was made.
Today, its almost fashionable to exclude. A never ending list of excuses is readily available along with plenty of internet advice to vanquish negative outcomes of ditching relations. Children age with less and less family contact only to grow up not really knowing who they are and where their skills, traits, and tendencies come from. Abilities and knowledge of their family history normally gained by being with grandparents is a thing of the past.
Parents claim they understand if attempt to address the issue are made, but it isn’t empathy or concern. More like a business transaction. Not burdening one’s self with a grandparent obligations is so much simpler. Travel and time management issues disappear. There is a short term benefit for the parent but the selfish choice creates a heartbreaking situation for grandchildren and grandparents. Long term losses for all very real and the quality of life for grandparents and grandchildren are significantly reduced.
It gets worse with blended families as often there is an extra set of grandparents involved. Parents who don’t put a lot of effort into including these relationships will often use the excuse that the child hasn’t taken a shine to one of the newer partners. The self fulfilling prophecy is exasperated by the justification and soon that grandparent is no longer even welcome creating issues for them and the partner.
People generally follow their own desires. Every effort is made to attain personal goals and the fact they don’t include certain family members or grandparents simply reveals priorities. It isn’t surprising with the relentless attack on families for the past few decades, yet it remains a tragic and heartfelt loss. Many grandparents are left out in the cold while their grandchildren grow up without the broader knowledge of themselves and their family history but surely the internet has a cure for that too.